


Look Me In the Eye (and Lie)

by iwasnttrainedforthis



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Con Artists, Crime, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24050662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasnttrainedforthis/pseuds/iwasnttrainedforthis
Summary: Harry Hart makes a good living conning rich tourists on the French Riviera. Trouble arrives in the form of Eggsy Unwin, a small-time grifter just looking for a good time. Not relishing the competition, Harry proposes a wager. Whoever can swindle the most money out of wealthy tech genius Merlin gets to stay, the loser has to leave town.May the best con artist win.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 16
Kudos: 50





	Look Me In the Eye (and Lie)

Harry zeros in on the target sitting at the baccarat table: Jack “Whiskey” Daniels, Texas oil tycoon. A well-placed stumble lands his whisky on Whiskey. “Oh! I can’t believe my clumsiness!” Harry offers Whiskey a monogrammed handkerchief. “I’m so sorry.”

“Well, that’s alright, I guess. No harm done. These blue jeans have seen worse.” Harry winces internally.

“Yes, but that was a ‘62 Dalmore,” or a drink of the same colour. “A shame to let it go to waste like that.” 

Whiskey seems intrigued. “A man who knows his alcohol!”

“Of course. In fact, let me buy you a drink to apologize.” He dismisses the table with a wave. “It seems luck will not be on my side tonight.” Whiskey is swept away in no time. “I haven’t introduced myself. My name is John Banks,” he says as he steers the American over to a table by the bar and signals the waiter for a round of drinks. 

“Jack Daniels, but my friends call me Whiskey.” 

“So what brings you to the area? Business or pleasure?” Harry asks. The waiter arrives with their drinks. Harry reaches up to take his, making sure his jacket falls open enough to reveal the flash of a shoulder holster. 

Whiskey blinks. “Well, uh, bit of both, I guess. Here to meet with some guys about an investment I’m considering. Wanted to see how y’all do Vegas over here. You’re not from around here, are you?”

“No, I’m here on business, you might say.” Harry makes a show of scanning the room with his gaze. It snags on Percival in the corner, looking helpfully furtive. He tells Whiskey, “Pardon my distraction. I’m meant to be meeting an associate of mine this evening to exchange some sensitive information.”

Whiskey leans towards Harry and, in what is probably intended to be a whisper, asks “Are you some kinda spy?” 

Harry widens his eyes, “Keep your voice down, please! I wouldn’t call myself a spy, although my job does involve some intelligence work.” He looks at Whiskey. “Can I trust you to be discreet?”

Looking impressed, Whiskey nods. “Absolutely, yes sir.”

Harry leans closer. “What do you know about the nation of Genovia?”

A brief flash of panic across Whiskey’s face, before he tries to nod knowingly. “It’s, uh, in Europe, right? That where you’re from?”

Thank goodness for the American education system.

  
  


“...and we’ve been fighting ever since to restore the original constitution.” 

“Wow.” Whiskey’s eyes are round. “I had no idea!”

“As I’m sure you can understand, this is privileged information. If the current minister of defense or any of his lackeys found out about our plans…” Harry trails off meaningfully. He signals the waiter for a second drink, which is Percival’s cue. Percival walks across the room, in full view of Harry and Whiskey. He sits down at the other end of the bar just long enough to leave a briefcase behind. 

Harry jumps up. “I must go now. Thank you for listening to my story. Best of luck with your investment opportunity.” He walks away briskly. The first rule of the big con: always leave them wanting more. 

* * *

Harry settles into the train seat, stowing his briefcase safely beneath him. After another fortuitous meeting or two, Whiskey had been practically begging Harry to accept a generous donation to aid the brave freedom fighters of Genovia. Now Harry and the cash are on their way home. He keeps one ear open for any interesting conversations as the train pulls away. One never knows what opportunities might pop up while traveling. 

In the seats across the aisle, a young man is chatting away with the woman sitting next to him. Harry had noticed the boy when he got on the train. Something about the combination of a pretty face and an outfit more appalling than Whiskey on his worst day has Harry’s fingers itching. To do what, he isn’t sure yet.

“That is just so sweet of you to go help your Gran out like that,” says the woman.

“Nah, I’m just excited to go spend some time with her. It only took me five months to save up the money!” the boy replies.

They’re interrupted as the attendant comes by to take their order. 

“Are these prices in Euros?” asks the boy, and then before the attendant can answer, he shuts the menu with a snap. “You know what, I’m not that hungry. Or thirsty.”

The woman, easily old enough to be his mother, leans forward, putting her hand on his arm. “I’ll tell you what, honey, it’s on me. Order whatever you want.”

The boy looks up at her with soulful eyes. “Really?” Harry feels like he should be taking notes.

She nods. “Go on.”

“You’re sure?” She nods again, and he turns back to the attendant. “I’ll take two turkey sandwiches, a bottle of sparkling water, a pack of crisps, and a slice of chocolate cake.” He turns back to the woman. “You want a slice of cake?” The woman smiles weakly. “Two slices of cake.” He hands the menu back to the attendant, and turns to the woman again. “Thank you so much. I’m gonna tell my gran all about the sweetheart who bought me lunch. Let me show you her picture!” 

Harry couldn’t have done it better himself. 

  
  


Later, they’re rolling through the countryside. The woman who bought lunch for the young man departed at the last stop. Harry can’t resist the chance to switch seats and introduce himself. 

“That was nicely done,” he says, in an undertone. 

“What’s that?” the boy looks over to him.

“Scamming lunch out of that woman. You had her eating out of your hand.”

The boy shrugs, unconcerned at being caught out. “It made her happy to buy me lunch, didn’t it? I got a couple free turkey sandwiches out of it. We both win.” He grins at Harry.

Harry is charmed despite his best efforts. “Henry Devere.” He offers his hand.

“Eggsy Unwin.” 

“So tell me, Eggsy,” surely not his real name, but Harry doesn’t have much room to talk. “Are you really on your way to meet your grandmother?” 

“You got me, guv. I’m just trying to see a bit of the world. Stopping in Beaumont-sur-Mer next, heard it’s the place to be. Where are you headed?”

“I am also bound for Beaumont-sur-Mer. It’s where I live, in fact.”

Eggsy looks impressed. “Yeah? I heard it’s full of beautiful rich people. That true?” His eyes wander over Harry. 

Harry raises an eyebrow. He can tell Eggsy’s going to be trouble. As attractive as he is, it’s the kind of trouble Harry really doesn’t need. “Not as much as some of the other towns along the Riviera, unfortunately. Have you been to Saint-Tropez yet? You might have better luck there.”

Eggsy winks at him. “Only one way to find out.” 

* * *

Eggsy rests his head against the metal bars of the jail cell. Maybe he should have gone to Saint-Tropez. At least the criminal justice system in this little town isn’t extensive or particularly well-organized. He can see the whole of the police station from his cell. Surely he can talk his way out of this. 

“Hey, Officer Morton?” he calls out. She glances over at him from the single desk against the wall. “Listen, I think this is all just a misunderstanding. I was absolutely gonna pay Ginevra back for the kitesurfing lessons. I just hadn’t had a chance. And then she saw me with the instructor and completely misinterpreted what was going on...” Officer Morton looks, if possible, less impressed the more he talks. He’s gonna have to try a different tactic. 

He racks his brain. Maybe he can call that bloke he met on the train, the one who said he lived here. Seemed like a nice enough guy. Maybe a local could help grease the wheels of bureaucracy. “Do I get a phone call, though? I don’t strictly speaking have the money to repay her on me right now, but I’ve got a friend who can help me out.”

Officer Morton shrugs, bringing the telephone over to the cell, and handing the earpiece to him. She looks at him expectantly. “So, I don’t actually know his phone number. You got a phone book? His name is Henry. Or Harry maybe.” The unimpressed look is back. Shit, what was his last name? Something like ‘Devour.’ “Devere! Henry Devere.” 

Officer Morton’s eyebrow goes up. She takes the phone back from Eggsy. “Maybe it was Devine? Harry Devine?” 

She dials, Eggsy hears “Monsieur Devere,” followed by a lot of rapid-fire French. She hangs up. “He will be here shortly.”

“Yes! Thank you so much. Maybe I should wait outside?” This gets him a faintly amused look as Officer Morton sits back down at her desk. “Or I could just wait here. That’s fine.”

Half an hour later Devere strides into the police station. He nods at Eggsy, then engages in a protracted discussion with Officer Morton. Eggsy tries to follow along. It gets quite heated at one point, but Officer Morton’s face stays firm and it ends with a shrug from Devere. Officer Morton walks over to the cell and opens the door. 

“I understand you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of a pickle,” Devere tells Eggsy as he steps out. 

“Like I was telling Officer Morton, what actually happened was--” Devere holds up his hand.

“I’m sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. As I explained to Officer Morton, a young man like you wouldn’t be involved in any sort of fraudulent scheme.” He raises his eyebrows at Eggsy. “Nevertheless, I’m afraid you will have to leave town.”

“What? Leave town? But I haven’t--”

Devere interrupts again. “Officer Morton was quite firm on this point. They are willing to release you without charging you, but you must leave immediately. May I offer you a ride to the train station?” 

Officer Morton looks quite firm indeed. “Alright, yeah, that’d be good, thanks.” 

Eggsy doesn’t want to give up such a promising hunting ground, but he can spend some time at the next stop on the rail, let things die down, and swing back around later. Devere indicates Eggsy should follow him, and leads the way outside to a sweet-looking roadster. “Listen, I really appreciate you coming down to help me out of a tight spot, Mr Devere.”

“Please, call me Harry.” Hm. Was it Harry? Or Henry?

They arrive at the station in no time and Harry hurries Eggsy out of the car and into the station. “I’ve taken the liberty of purchasing you a ticket. It was very nice to meet you, Eggsy. Best of luck to you in your travels.” 

Eggsy takes his bag and steps into the train car, waving from the window once he gets seated. Harry waits and watches from the platform. Strange though, how Officer Morton had just sent Eggsy off with Harry. How often do police officers let suspects go with a stern warning to leave town? 

As Eggsy ponders, a man with a cowboy hat getting off the train hails Harry, calling out “Mr Banks!” Harry looks alarmed. Eggsy can’t quite make out their conversation, mostly because Harry hushes him immediately, looking around at the crowd. 

Eggsy and Harry make eye contact one last time before Harry pulls the man inside the station. Eggsy narrows his eyes. Obviously not a case of mistaken identity. Eggsy is adding up the pieces, and he doesn’t like the picture it’s making. He grabs his bag and gets right back off the train. He’s not going to be hustled out of town by a man who can’t handle a little competition.

* * *

Harry stretches out his legs underneath the café table, enjoying the Mediterranean breeze. He’s gotten rid of a potential irritation with hardly any effort, he’s flush enough to allow a short break before he starts researching his next job, and the waiter should be bringing his crepes in a minute or two. Life is good. Until someone pulls out the chair across from him.

“How’s it going, Harry?” The smirk on Eggsy’s face has no business looking as attractive as it does. “Or should I say, Mr Banks? I got a bit confused. You know, when you were trying to hustle me out of town.”

Harry was afraid this might happen. He makes one last effort. “It’s true, I operate under several different identities. I must ask you to keep what you witnessed to yourself. It’s a matter of national security.”

Eggsy laughs. “Pull the other one, bruv. I know a con man when I see one.”

It was worth a shot. “May I ask what you’re doing still in town? I believe you had strict instructions to leave.”

“Yeah, see, I had a thought about it, and it seemed a bit shady to me. I noticed Officer Morton didn’t fill out any paperwork before I left. Friend of yours?” Harry stays silent. “I think I’m gonna take my chances. You wouldn’t have tried to run me out of town if it wasn’t worth my while to stay.”

The boy is smarter than he lets on. He can't be allowed to stay. But perhaps his influence can be contained until Harry can come up with a better plan to get rid of him.

He looks at Eggsy thoughtfully. “I’ll admit I’ve done well in this town. It’s a revolving door of rich and beautiful people, as you so aptly put it.” He leans forward. “Quite frankly, I don’t think you’re ready for it. You’re here scamming people out of a few sandwiches and an afternoon on a kiteboard? You haven’t even scratched the surface of what’s possible with this level of wealth. It takes a delicate touch.”

Eggsy huffs and crosses his arms. “My touch is plenty delicate, thank you.” He pulls out a wallet and starts rifling through it. “In fact, brunch is on me. Rich folks on holiday always carry plenty of cash.” He tosses a few notes on the table, pockets the rest, then wedges the empty wallet under a table leg.

Harry shakes his head. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. That sort of thing around here is going to end you up in jail again eventually. With your natural talent, you could be making serious money. More than enough for brunch.” 

Eggsy leans forward. “I’m listening.” 

“Let me finish my crepes, and I’ll show you what I mean.”

Harry pulls the roadster up to the front of the manor, turning to enjoy the wide-eyed look on Eggsy’s face. It is a very impressive approach. 

“Holy shit. You live here?” asks Eggsy, craning his neck to take in the expanse of the grounds. 

“Would you like a tour?”

“Uh, yeah.” Eggsy jumps out of the car like an overexcited puppy. Harry can’t wait to bring him to heel.

Harry leads him down the path towards the terrace overlooking the ocean before taking him through the house proper.

“You got all this, from scamming people?” Eggsy asks when the tour ends in the front parlour.

“What I do is more than just scamming people. In every job I take, I play a role. In order to take their money, you have to think like them. You have to become a rich person. When you can enter their world, that’s when this becomes possible.” Harry waves his hand to indicate the house and all its contents.

Harry can tell Eggsy is impressed but he covers it with a shrug. “All these fancy statues and paintings help you think like a rich person?”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Artwork is another form of currency for the wealthy. It’s practically a form of money laundering. For example, that statue of Athena you pocketed in the east wing is worth £10,000.”

Eggsy pulls the tiny statue out of his jacket pocket and looks at it from all angles. “Yeah? I thought it’d look cool on my bookshelf at home. I guess I do have a lot to learn from you.” 

* * *

Eggsy holds his arms out to the side. “I don’t know, this don’t feel very comfortable. I mean, can’t I just chat people up on the beach or something? Even rich toffs hang out on the beach, right?”

Harry adjusts the right sleeve a bit more and pins it in place. “Occasionally. When their yachts are in for repair.” He does the same for the left sleeve. “A properly fitted suit will allow you to move among the wealthy people in Beaumont-sur-Mer with ease. This will just need a few adjustments.”

Eggsy furrows his brows. “Where’d this suit come from, anyway? Doesn’t seem like it would fit you or Percival. Or Roxy.”

“That’s not important right now.” Harry hands him a pair of shoes. “Try these on.” 

“How long are these ‘adjustments’ gonna take?”

“I’ll make them this evening. I used to be a tailor in another life.” 

“Get out,” Eggsy says, eyes wide. 

“It’s true. By keeping my eyes and ears open, I learned a lot more than how to put together a suit.” Harry stands and buttons his own cardigan. “The suit and accessories are important, but how you carry yourself is even more important. Observe.” 

Harry strides across the room with purpose. He stops and leans casually against the door frame, hand in his pocket. He looks better in the beige cardigan than any man has a right to. If Eggsy had a million years, he couldn’t replicate that effortless style. He’s gonna try his best anyway.

* * *

Eggsy storms out the side entrance, as soon as Roxy takes the handcuffs off him. Harry holds up a staying hand towards Roxy and follows Eggsy out. He hopes Eggsy has finally been pushed far enough to quit.

Eggsy’s standing by the sea wall, facing the ocean, arms crossed. There’s practically a little thundercloud across his face. “Is everything alright, my dear? I thought you did wonderfully.” Harry asks.

“No, everything is not alright, Harry!” Eggsy whirls around. “Why’d I spend all that time learning how to be a gentleman if I have to pretend to be some shady character who gets arrested by Roxy every time? I want to do a real job.”

“I never promised you this would be glamorous.” Harry pats his jacket pocket. “Chester King is headed straight to the train station, convinced the police are two steps behind him, and he left behind the €20.000 he was going to spend on our ‘diamonds of questionable provenance’. Is that not enough for you?” 

“Yeah, that’s another thing. I just helped you make €20.000, so why do you get to keep 90 percent of the money?”

“You’re the apprentice, here to learn. I’ve got to pay Percival and Roxy their shares, I’ve got expenses to support us all.” 

Eggsy scoffs. “Whatever. I’m done being your apprentice. Thanks for the lessons, but I’m ready to work on my own.” He moves to leave. Harry steps in front of him, blocking his path.

“In that case, I hope you’re on your way to the train station. This is still my town.”

Eggsy does his best to get in Harry’s face, but he’s not quite tall enough for it to be effective. Harry has to make an effort to hold on to his irritation. “Who decided it was your town? You can’t make me leave.”

Unfortunately true. But Harry has one last idea to try. “We seem to be at an impasse. I propose a wager.”

“I’m listening,” says Eggsy.

“A chance for you to prove you’re ready to step up your game. We pick one last mark. Whoever can get the most money out of them, wins. The loser has to leave town.”

“A competition?” Eggsy starts to smile. “Yeah, okay.” 

“Let’s make the deadline a week from today.” Harry turns and starts walking back towards the hotel they’ve been working out of. Eggsy follows. “We’ll go by whoever has the most cash in hand.”

“Alright,” Eggsy nods. They’re approaching the hotel lobby, watching the stream of guests going in and out. “How do we decide who the mark is?”

Harry will win this competition easily. Eggsy has natural talent and has picked up everything Harry has taught him astonishingly fast, but he just doesn’t have the experience. Harry can afford to be generous. “You may select the mark.” He waves his hand towards the lobby.

Eggsy looks at him. “You think you’re going to win this, don’t you?”

“Think of this as your final lesson. The proper selection of a mark is the most important part of the con.” 

They’re inside the hotel lobby now. Eggsy goes back to scanning the crowd of people. Harry does the same, curious to see who he will choose. Eggsy probably won’t go with someone his own age, he’s seen first hand the effect Harry can have on an unsuspecting young person with daddy issues. There’s an older lady who looks to be traveling on her own, that’s usually a good option. Harry’s gaze snags on a handsome man around his own age, tall and thin. He’s clutching a messenger bag and towing a suitcase on wheels, with which he accidentally runs over that older lady’s foot as Harry watches. 

Harry looks over to see Eggsy watching the same man with a grin. “Him, that’s the one I want.” Harry looks back at the man in dismay. He’s dressed like he’s here to attend an academic convention, jumper over a tie. 

“Him? Don’t you think he’s awfully…” Harry can hear the man apologizing profusely to the lady. “Scottish?”

“What’s wrong, Harry, don’t think you can do it? You can always forfeit.”

Harry straightens his shoulders so he can look down on Eggsy from his full height. “I look forward to the challenge.”

* * *

Eggsy runs his fingers through his hair, looking over his appearance in the mirror with a critical eye. Roxy raps on the open door and steps in, handing him a pair of glasses.

“Found these for you in the props box.”

Eggsy slips them on. “Thanks, Rox, these are perfect.”

“No problem. I can’t believe you didn’t do any research on this ‘Merlin’ guy before you picked him. How did you know he was a rich tech genius?” She’s scrolling through the company website Eggsy has pulled up on his phone. “He definitely looks like he could have been a professor. They never make any money.”

Eggsy shrugs. She’s got a point, but Eggsy just had a good feeling about this one. “What can I say, I’ve got a good eye. I mean technically all I have to do is get more money than Harry, it doesn’t have to be a lot.” He raises his eyebrows at her. “But I think it’s gonna be a lot.”

She hands the phone back. “Well, good luck. Percival and I are going to sit this one out. To make things fair.” 

“Cheers, Rox. I’ve gotta go, gotta run into him before Harry does. See you later.”

And with that he’s out the door. 

Eggsy scans the room, trying not to grin when he spots his target’s bald head. He’s excited about the challenge. He’s going to kick Harry’s arse, and have a good time doing it. He casually starts making his way over to the bar where Merlin is standing. He waits until Merlin looks over at him. As soon as they make eye contact, Eggsy fakes a stumble, going down on one knee. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Merlin put down his drink and hurry over to Eggsy’s side. “Are you alright there, lad?”

Works every time. Eggsy grimaces and clutches his ankle. “I don’t know what I tripped on, but I think I twisted my ankle.” He looks up at Merlin. “Would you mind helping me out onto the patio? I could use some fresh air and to rest for a minute.”

Merlin reaches down immediately. “Of course. Here, let me help you up.” Eggsy puts an arm across broad shoulders, and together they slowly walk towards the door. “Don’t feel too bad, I read once that people tend to trip over their own feet when the muscles in their legs are too strong for their bones to support.”

“Wow, really?” 

Merlin helps Eggsy into a chair at a patio table. “No, I made that up. I was trying to make you feel better.”

Eggsy laughs. “It worked, mate!” He holds a hand out. “My name’s Eggsy. Thanks for helping me out here, and trying to make me feel better.”

Merlin shakes his hand. “I’m Merlin, and you’re welcome.”

Eggsy looks up at him again. “If you don’t mind sitting with me for a bit while I rest my ankle, I’ll buy you a drink for your trouble.”

Merlin pulls out a chair and sits down, looking a little unsure. 

Eggsy smiles at him. “So what brings you to Beaumont-sur-Mer?”

“I’m here on vacation. A major project at work just wrapped up, so I thought a trip would be nice, to celebrate.” 

Eggsy leans forward a bit, mirroring Merlin’s body language. “Yeah? What do you do for a living?”

“I work with computers, writing software. Boring stuff, I’m afraid. What about you?”

Time to lay some groundwork. “I’m still a student, actually.” 

“What do you study?”

“Education! I’m working on my doctorate right now. I’m studying the effect of technology on learning objectives in underserved populations.” 

Merlin leans forward as well. “That sounds like a fascinating subject. My company actually has a division dedicated to technology in education.” What a coincidence. 

“Really? Maybe you’ve heard of my advisor, Dr Bretton?” Eggsy asks.

Merlin shakes his head. “The name doesn’t sound familiar.” Not surprising, since Dr Bretton doesn’t exist. 

It’s time for Harry’s first rule of the big con: always leave them wanting more. But before Eggsy can start making his excuses, Merlin’s mobile chimes. He glances at it, then looks back at Eggsy. “I’m sorry, even though I’m on vacation I’ve got a check-in scheduled with some colleagues overseas. But I’m here the rest of the week, perhaps we’ll run into each other again?” He looks hesitant, like he doesn’t want to impose. 

Eggsy makes no attempt to hold back his grin this time. “I hope that we do.”

* * *

Harry is tucked safely behind a newspaper when Eggsy strolls through the hotel lobby and just happens to run into Merlin. They sit close enough for him to listen while Eggsy alternates between asking Merlin questions about his work and chatting about his own sadly underfunded program and the research trip he hopes to take with his advisor. It’s a good angle, neatly tailored to Merlin’s interests, not too complicated. He couldn’t have done it better himself.

A hotel staffer steps out from behind the front desk, holding a silver tray with an envelope. “Dr Bretton?” Time to shine. Harry snaps the newspaper shut and stands, straightening the jacket of his favorite suit as he does.

“Yes?” he says.

“Message for you, sir,” says the staffer, holding out the message Percival helpfully called in for ‘Dr Bretton’.

“Thank you.” Harry takes the envelope and turns to sit back down, affecting surprise when this leaves him facing Merlin and Eggsy. “Eggsy, good morning.” Harry deploys his most charming smile. He enjoys Merlin’s admiring gaze and Eggsy’s murderous glare equally. 

“Good morning,” an almost infinitesimal pause, “Dr Bretton.” 

Merlin looks at Eggsy and the murderous glare disappears. “Merlin, this is Dr Bretton, my advisor. Dr Bretton, Merlin is a tech wizard, he’s got his own company,” Eggsy says. 

Harry looks appropriately impressed. Merlin ducks his head. “It’s a small company, but it is mine,” he says, smile a little crooked.

After a few more pleasantries Harry leaves them to it, now that he’s put his plan in motion. He’s already plotting the best way to ensure he spends plenty of time with Merlin. He’ll win the wager handily either way, but it’s best not to leave anything to chance.

* * *

Eggsy strolls down the boardwalk side by side with Merlin, pointing out shops and other buildings of interest. All of the shops are elegant and well-kept, frequented by a parade of well-dressed tourists. Once he wins the bet, Eggsy’s going to have it made here in Beaumont-sur-Mer. 

It took him by surprise when Harry showed up as Dr Bretton, but it probably shouldn’t have. Eggsy knew it was going to be a challenge staying one step ahead of Harry. They stop for ice cream cones before Eggsy steers them towards the waterfront. He’s never met a challenge that wouldn’t benefit from an ice cream cone. 

“Tell me more about your foundation. What sort of work do you do?” Eggsy takes a small bite of his ice cream. More of a lick, really.

Merlin blinks at him. “Oh, nothing nearly as involved as your work with Dr Bretton, I’m afraid. We donate computer equipment for kids in the local schools that can’t afford their own. Tablets, laptops, that sort of thing.” 

Eggsy nods encouragingly. “Having access to that at home can make a big difference.” Probably?

“It absolutely does. The best part is when we distribute everything, we get to go into the classrooms for basic tutoring sessions before we let them loose. Nothing like a room full of 8 year olds to keep you on your toes.” He’s been gesturing broadly as he talks. 

“Look out, your ice cream-” Eggsy says, just as the scoop in question lands on the ground. 

“Ah, no.” Merlin licks a bit of melted ice cream from the hand now holding an empty cone. His eyebrows look forlorn. Eggsy’s heart can barely take it.

“Let me buy you another,” Eggsy takes his elbow and turns them back around. 

Merlin looks back at the waterfront. “I wanted to take a look at the boats, I haven’t been on a sailboat in ages.”

“We’ll be back, don’t worry.”

* * *

Eggsy hurries down the dock, one eye on the slip numbers he passes. He was pretty excited when Merlin suggested a sailing trip yesterday. He’s never been on a sailboat before, and it’s a good sign he’s making progress. After all, Dr Bretton hasn’t been invited on a sailing trip, has he?

Eggsy slows as he approaches the correct slip. “Eggsy!” calls out Merlin, waving from the deck of the sailboat. Next to him, Harry is also waving, tiniest of smirks on his face. Fuck. “Welcome aboard! Dr Bretton is going to show us his secret snorkeling spot.” Merlin smiles broadly at Eggsy and Harry both. This is fine, Eggsy can still salvage this. Sure, Harry’s only done up half the buttons on his white linen shirt for some reason. But if that’s the way he wants to play this, Eggsy’s still got most of a six-pack from that bicycle tour through the Pyrenees last month, and he’s not afraid to use it. His shirt’s coming off at the earliest possible opportunity.

He finds he doesn’t have much to do once he gets onboard. Harry and Merlin clearly know what they’re doing, preparing the boat to leave the dock with alarmingly seamless teamwork. Merlin’s awkwardness has melted away now that he has something to keep his capable hands busy. Harry’s got his sleeves rolled up as he tugs on the ropes, exposing some very nice forearms. Eggsy can’t decide where to look first. 

“Eggsy, do you want to give me a hand with the mainsail?” calls Merlin.

Eggsy’s brain is not firing on all cylinders right now. “Nah, I’m good, thanks,” he replies.

Merlin tilts his head to the side. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly?” His voice goes a bit lower than normal.

Eggsy straightens up. “I mean, where do you want me?” Merlin and Harry trade an amused glance as Eggsy jumps over to grab the rope Merlin is holding out. 

It takes them about an hour or so to get to Harry’s ‘secret snorkeling spot.’ Eggsy’s enjoying the sunshine, the sea breeze, and the company. Laying the groundwork is an important part of the big con, according to Harry. He and Harry just happen to be laying the same groundwork.

Once they’re anchored, Merlin waves Harry and Eggsy over to an open storage compartment. “Let’s get you lads outfitted. Swim fins.” He hands a pair of fins to Eggsy and a pair to Harry. “Snorkel, diving mask.” He eyes Eggsy’s shirtless torso and tosses over a bottle. “Sunscreen. What kind of animal life can we expect to see in your secret cove, professor?”

“As far as fish go, bream and wrasses. If we’re lucky, we might see an octopus...” Harry trails off. Eggsy looks up from the swim fin he’s trying to wedge his foot into. Merlin has taken off his shirt, hat, and sunglasses, leaving him in board shorts. He is extremely fit. Eggsy looks over to see if Harry knew about this. From the raised eyebrows he gets back, he did not. 

Merlin pulls his diving mask down over his eyes and grins at them. “Shall we, gentlemen?” 

* * *

“We’re almost to the lookout,” Harry tells Merlin. Harry typically does his best work in casinos or perhaps moonlit balconies, not hiking trails, but this competition is pushing him outside his comfort zone. 

“Kind of you to take me up here when Eggsy wasn’t feeling up to it. I hope he feels better soon,” says Merlin.

Harry imagines he’ll be feeling much better once he manages to escape from the storage room Harry locked him in. Harry thought Eggsy might have learned enough in the past few weeks to not fall for such an obvious ploy, but apparently he still has some learning to do. “He was disappointed he couldn’t come with us, but this view is not to be missed.”

“You two seem close,” comments Merlin. He looks sideways at Harry as they walk. 

“He’s like a son to me,” lies Harry. “And one of my best students. I only wish I had the funding to take him with me on my trip. The research will be poorer without him.”

“Yes, he was telling me all about it. You both do important work.”

“I like to think we make a difference.” Harry climbs the last few steps to the top of the overlook and turns back to make sure Merlin makes it up safely. Merlin pauses when he gets to the top, looking out over the ocean.

“Gorgeous.” Harry has a hard time reading Merlin sometimes, but right now his face is open and appreciative. Harry is pleased, and has to admit the hike was a good idea. Eventually Merlin turns to Harry. “I do have a question for you, now that we’re out here alone.” Harry nods, heart beating a little faster. “If I offered Eggsy money for his research trip, do you think he’d accept it?”

Exactly what he was hoping to hear. Harry adopts a thoughtful expression. “I fear he might not. But it’s a very generous offer, I would hate for him to lose out just because of his pride. If you’re willing-” he pauses.

“Yes?”

“What if you gave the money to me, and I told Eggsy the school received a grant to fund his trip? That way he doesn’t have to know where the money came from.”

Merlin smiles slowly. “That just might work, Dr Bretton.”

“Please, call me Harry.”

* * *

Eggsy sits down next to Merlin on the blanket underneath the beach umbrella. Merlin smiles back at him, and they watch the waves rolling in and out for a few minutes. Eventually Merlin breaks the silence. “Harry certainly has a lovely house.”

“Yeah, he does,” says Eggsy, making sure to sound a little melancholy. He picks a handful of sand up and lets it fall back through his fingers. “I couldn’t believe it the first time I came here and he showed me the view. It’s like a whole different world for them.”

“Them?” asks Merlin.

“Rich folks. No offense, I know you have money.” Merlin shrugs a bit. “But there’s some things Harry just doesn’t understand.”

“He doesn’t seem like the type to look down on you for not having as much money as he does.”

“No, he wouldn’t.” Eggsy lowers his voice a little. “But stuff like this research trip. It’s an amazing opportunity and the research Harry’s doing is so important. But I can’t afford the trip. There’s travel expenses, lodging, equipment.” Eggsy looks off to the distance. “No way I can cover all that. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. What if I can't finish my degree? Harry’ll be so disappointed.”

Merlin looks back at him, brow furrowed. He doesn’t speak for a minute. “What if-” he starts, then pauses. “What if I could pay your expenses for you?”

Eggsy’s heart starts beating faster. Normally now would be the time for an ‘oh no, I couldn’t possibly’ protest. But time is of the essence. He can’t leave room for Harry to swoop in. “You’d do that for me?” he asks, looking up at Merlin. 

Merlin pushes his glasses a little further up his nose. “I know we haven’t known each other very long. But I’ve really come to care for you, Eggsy. I want to see you happy. And if I can do this for you…” he trails off. 

Eggsy can’t tear his eyes away from Merlin’s. He finds himself leaning in a little closer. Just then he hears “Ahoy! Eggsy, Merlin!” Merlin springs back, and Eggsy turns to see Harry trotting down the path from the house, carrying a picnic basket. “Percival said you came down to the beach without snacks? I couldn’t believe it,” says Harry. He reaches the blanket, moving to sit in between Merlin and Eggsy. “Budge over, I’ll sit in the middle so you can both reach the nibbles. Wonderful weather today, don’t you think?”

“That’s very thoughtful Harry, thank you,” says Merlin. Eggsy waits until Merlin is looking back out at the waves before trying to explode Harry’s head with the power of his mind. Harry just looks back at him with those ridiculous brown eyes, and Eggsy is defeated.

* * *

“Hey, Harry?” Eggsy flops down in the chair across from Harry.

Harry sighs and puts down his blueberry scone. “Yes, my dear?” 

Eggsy fidgets with the silverware in front of his place setting. “I think I might have messed up.”

Harry picks the scone back up and takes a bite. 

“I was down by the hotel pool, chatting with Merlin,” Eggsy’s eyes go a little dreamy. Harry keeps his face pleasantly neutral until Eggsy focuses again. “I thought he was some big shot rich tech genius, but it turns out all of his money is tied up in his company.”

“So he’ll sell a few shares before he can write me the check,” Harry says.

“But that’s just it, he can’t. He was trying to tell me about it, but I don’t speak rich person. I guess his company is privately owned? All the money is in servers and office space or something?”

Harry frowns. Many of his own cons in the past have required a certain amount of financial savvy. “He won’t have access to those funds then.” He looks at Eggsy disapprovingly. “This is why doing your research ahead of time is important. This doesn’t change the parameters of our agreement, just the size of the purse.” 

“No, but he said he was gonna pull some strings with his foundation, get them to award me a grant.”

“I don’t see the problem.”

Eggsy shifts in his seat. “We’re taking money that was supposed to go to charity. That doesn’t bother you?” He looks genuinely upset at the thought. Harry feels a twinge somewhere in the vicinity of the heart. He ruthlessly squashes it along with the prick of his conscience.

“If you’re not comfortable with it, you’re free to leave at any time.”

Eggsy looks at Harry for a long minute. “I don’t know why I thought you’d say anything different.” He leaves Harry to the scones. Harry eats three more, but they don’t help the ache in his chest at all.

* * *

Eggsy furrows his brow, glancing at the dealers cards, then his own. 

“So the count now is?” Merlin murmurs.

“Plus 12?” says Eggsy.

“Very good.” When the hand is over, Merlin and Eggsy collect their chips. Eggsy looks over when he sees Merlin tense up. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s one more thing I forgot to tell you about counting cards.” Merlin stands and gathers his chips quickly, minus a tip for the dealer. Eggsy follows suit. “The casinos do not like it. Let’s get out of here.” Merlin starts briskly walking away from the table. 

Eggsy follows, looking behind him to see a pair of pit bosses in suits much nicer than his heading towards the table. Merlin grabs his hand and tugs him into a crowd of people. Eggsy would have lost them easily but Merlin’s head sticks out above the crowd. Eggsy steers them towards a side exit. Once they break free of the crowd, they jog down the hallway towards the bank of elevators down at the end of the hallway. Luck is with them and an elevator opens immediately. 

Eggsy leans back against the wall and laughs. “Probably a good thing you’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t think you’ll be welcome back in the casino. Where’d you learn how to do that?”

Merlin laughs too. “It’s just basic math and probability. But I’m impressed, not everyone would pick it up as quickly as you did. Too bad Harry wasn’t there to see it.”

“Nah, we were better off. Can you imagine?” Eggsy has practiced until he can do a credible imitation of Harry’s accent. “Pardon me, I didn’t realise it was a crime to be good at a card game.” He sort of wishes Harry had been there to see it, though.

It hadn’t been easy to get Harry out of the picture for Merlin’s last night in town. It took every trick he’s learned in the last month, a few contacts from his travels, and one big favor from Roxy, but right now Harry is accompanying an actual princess to the opera, and Eggsy is ready to reap the benefits of all his hard work.

He just hasn’t decided which benefits to reap. Should he take the money, and the town? Or is there a bigger prize to be won?

The elevator dings. Merlin steps out. “Come on,” he says. “I don’t think you’ve had a chance to see my suite yet. I’ll fix us a drink.” Eggsy follows him.

* * *

Harry is sitting outside at his breakfast table, staring out at the sea. He hasn’t eaten breakfast yet. He has plans to head over to the hotel. It’s the last day of Merlin’s vacation and he’s got to act now if he wants to act at all. It may be too late, lord only knows what Eggsy was up to while Harry was stuck at the opera last night. 

Any minute now, he’ll be ready. 

A car pulls up in front of the house. Harry sits up straighter when he sees Merlin get out of the car and wave to him. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks when Merlin makes it over to him. “Where’s Eggsy?” 

“Still sleeping, I imagine. I’m on my way to the airport, I just wanted to stop by to say goodbye.” Merlin shifts the satchel he’s carrying, pulling out an envelope. “And give you this. For Eggsy, like we discussed?” Harry takes the envelope automatically, staring at it. He looks back up at Merlin, who shifts a bit under his scrutiny. “Is that OK?” 

Harry shakes his head, pulling an envelope full of cash he just happened to have on him out of his jacket pocket. He hands both back to Merlin. “No. I appreciate the offer, but I’ve decided it would be more appropriate to cover Eggsy’s expenses out of my own funds.” He nods at the envelopes. “However, I would like to make a contribution to your foundation, if I may.” 

Merlin looks back at Harry, eyes wide. “That’s very generous of you.”

Harry shakes his head. “It’s a worthy cause.”

Merlin smiles. “You’re a good man, Dr Bretton. I’ve had a wonderful time in Beaumont-sur-Mer. I hope you look me up the next time you make it back home.” 

“I absolutely will,” Harry says. “Have a safe trip.” 

Harry watches Merlin drive off. He supposes this means Eggsy has won the wager, since technically Harry has gotten negative money out of Merlin. He’s still watching the sea when his own car pulls up in the drive. Eggsy hops out of the driver’s seat, hair a mess, clothing rumpled.

“Have you seen Merlin this morning?”

“I’m afraid you just missed him. He’s left for the airport.”

“Fuck!” Eggsy gets right back in the car.

“Let him go.” Harry tells Eggsy. “I didn’t take any money from him. Actually, I gave him a sizable donation for his foundation, so you’ve won the wager, regardless.”

Eggsy rests his head on the steering wheel briefly. “Of course you did.” He looks up. “Get in the car, I’ll explain on the way.” With a sense of foreboding, Harry gets in the car. Eggsy puts his foot down. “Right, so, last night, after we ditched you, Merlin invited me up to his hotel suite. He sat me down on the sofa and mixed me a drink.” 

“You can skip the play-by-play, thank you.” 

“There is no play-by-play, because that’s the last thing I remember. I think there was something in that drink. The next thing I know, it’s morning and Merlin is gone.” Eggsy’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “And the money was gone, too.”

Harry’s not sure he’s following. “What money?”

“I had brought my share of the cash we made on the last few jobs. I was gonna give it to him before he left, for his foundation.” 

Harry clutches the handle of the car door as Eggsy accelerates out of a curve. “So you mean to tell me--?”

Eggsy laughs mirthlessly. “We’ve been conned, Harry.”

They’ve only just pulled into view of Beaumont-sur-Mer’s tiny airport when the 9:30 flight roars over their heads. Eggsy pulls over to the side of the road, turns the engine off and stares at the steering wheel. 

“I’m sorry, my boy,” Harry says. “I never meant for your last lesson to be such a painful one.”

“It’s not your fault, Harry. I’m the one who made it easy for him.” Eggsy straightens back up. “Look, you win. I’m obviously not ready for the big time. I’ll get the rest of my stuff from your place, be outta your hair by the afternoon.” 

Harry finds he doesn’t want that anymore. “There’s no rush. Why don’t you stay awhile? It’s still early enough for breakfast and I haven’t had a chance to teach you my patented omelette making technique, have I?” 

That at least puts a smile back on Eggsy’s face. “Yes, Harry,” he says, putting the car back in gear. 

* * *

Harry can’t find Eggsy anywhere in the house. He tries not to be alarmed. He thought Eggsy might want to celebrate the first successful job of their new partnership. Harry even let Eggsy be the suave secret agent this time. 

He heads outside, along the path towards the ocean. Sure enough, he finds Eggsy sitting quietly, watching the moonlight on the waves. Harry sits next to him for a while. 

“You know what the stupid part is?” Eggsy finally asks. “I still miss the bastard.”

Harry puts an arm around Eggsy’s shoulders and squeezes. “I miss him too.”

“I liked him. The whole time, I was busy beating myself up about taking his money. He sure didn’t have the same problem.” Eggsy turns to look up at Harry, head tilted to the side. “Can’t be too mad though. He left the most valuable thing behind, didn’t he?”

“What’s that?” 

Eggsy leans in to kiss him. When he starts to pull back, Harry doesn’t let him go.

* * *

“Harry, you don’t know anybody who owns a yacht, do you?” Eggsy asks.

“I know several people who own yachts, but nobody who is currently on speaking terms with me at the moment. Why do you ask?” 

“Because there’s a yacht anchored out behind your house.” 

Harry walks over to see what Eggsy is looking at. A small crowd of well-dressed people is disembarking, being led up the path towards the estate by a tall, lanky, suspiciously familiar figure. 

“That’s not who it looks like, right? There’s no way?” Eggsy turns a pleading look on Harry. Harry’s not sure what he’s hoping to hear. 

It is in fact Merlin climbing the stairs backwards so he can talk to the people he’s leading. He’s wearing a very nice suit, and his accent could put Harry’s to shame. He turns around once he reaches the top. “I’d like to introduce everyone to my real estate manager, Henri DeBergerac, and his assistant Eduardo. Henri, these clients are here for a tour.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow at Harry. Harry stares back at him. Part of Harry wants to punch Merlin in the face. Part of him wants to kiss the bastard. Part of him feels the thrill he only gets when he’s got the chance to make an enormous sum of money if he can say the right words. What has Merlin told these people, exactly? 

Harry adopts a light French accent. “Delighted to meet you all. If you’ll follow me?” Merlin grins at him as he ushers the crowd along the path to the house. 

Harry and Eggsy stand together, watching Merlin see off the crowd of potential investors. 

“Can you believe the nerve--” starts Eggsy.

“Mm.” Harry puts his arm around Eggsy and pulls him close, wanting the reassurance.

“That was pretty sweet though. We’ve never made that much money in a single day before.” Eggsy squeezes him back.

“Mm.” Apparently Merlin promised his ‘clients’ similar estates to be built to their specifications in an off-shore tax haven. The potential investors left a sizable stack of cash deposits.

Merlin is making his way back over to them. “That was amazing, lads. Went even better than I hoped.” 

Harry raises his eyebrows. “That’s all you have to say for yourself?”

“What, you’re not still mad about how we left things last time, are you?”

“You stole €50.000 from us!” Eggsy lets go of Harry to get up in Merlin’s face. 

“As I recall, you gave me that money.” Merlin points at Eggsy accusingly. “And you were competing with each other over who could swindle the most money out of me. All of a sudden I’m the bad guy?”

Eggsy slumps back down. Harry feels guilty too, for a minute. But then, “How did you know about the wager?” he asks. 

Merlin steps between Eggsy and Harry to start walking back to the manor, leaving them no choice but to follow. “I planted a few bugs in the house the first time I visited. You could be doing a lot more with the technology that’s available these days, by the way. If you’re interested in working together again, I could show you some things.” 

Harry exchanges a glance with Eggsy. He’s not sure where to start. “Is the house still bugged?” Merlin’s name occasionally comes up in some of the conversations he and Eggsy have.

Merlin’s shoulders go up towards his ears. “I wanted to keep an eye on you both. I always stop listening if the conversation starts to get too personal. I wouldn’t do anything inappropriate.”

Harry looks at Eggsy again, silently asking a question. Eggsy grins in response. Harry takes a step to catch up with Merlin, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Would you like to?” he asks. Eggsy does the same on the other side. 

Merlin looks between the two of them, a smile growing on his face. “Yes, please."


End file.
